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Wednesday, February 01, 2012
I'd sacrifice my beating heart before I lose you
 'My birthday, other than an appointment with Ayuzawa, there will be no others. Rest assured now?'
Bitch, I do not like you. You're my friend, but I do not like you. Who the hell pushes a person away when she's crying on your shoulder? You said you were shocked? Bitch, have you never seen a person cry? Started disliking you ever since that TruthOrDare game. Seriously, grow up and MOVE ON. I took 3 months, that's bad enough. How long has it been for you? Half a year? More? No point in holding on to him, so just freaking get on with life. But if you don't, that's not my problem. You're not someone of much importance to me anyway.
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'The more I think about it, the more I realise I'm doing that one thing I told myself never to do again... Fall in love.' - @Lynette_inIMH
'When there is love, there is a risk of hatred.' -@Dom_Eee_Nicole
'For every day, I miss you. For every hour, I need you. For every minute, I feel you. For every second, I want you. Forever, I love you.' - @SayingsForGirls
'The irony of life: Finding out that you love someone after that person walks out of your life.' -@WishfulSayings
Let the suffering begin.
I'm a bitch
There's just something about myself I hate, and keeps causing me to make mistakes.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
In times like these
Dedicated,
To my girl Danielle.
(Fly fourteen)
Yo, lemme see that smile,
Even if it's for a while ~
When things don't go your way,
When words are hard to say.
You don't have to worry,
Cux I'll be here for you always ~
When you need to run,
Looking for a place to hide,
Take a deep breath,
Open your eyes.
Count on me,
Even when there's not a need.
I'll be here for you.
Even when the world's ending,
Hold my hands,
Don't ever be afraid.
Cux you can trust me, always.
I dreamt of you missing,
Something's amiss.
Woke up with tears,
I don't know why,
I just wanna be by your side.
To let you know,
You are the best,
Even when the sky's falling,
We'll always be friends.
A friend like you,
One in a million.
How can I ever forget you?
And this song,
Just for you,
I dedicated.
To let you know,
That you have a friend in me. (Baby ~)
Yeah,
Bring it,
D to the A-N-I-E
Double L plus the E
How were you feeling,
When you didn't have me.
Hold me as a friend,
Who'll hold your hands,
Through thick and thin,
I think you'll never forget me.
(Happy birthday,
Danielle.
You're 14)
From Jade Wong Qian Yu
9th March 2010
Stop
I've had enough of you and the shit you put me through.
Monday, January 30, 2012
She laughs at my dreams but I dream about her laughter
 Baked red vanilla cupcakes for Edi's 18th with Ranjetha (: Had a good time. The first batch failed though. They turned into rock, but the rest turned out well (:
Watched 'We Not Naughty' with Yi Zheng, Jasmine, Wesley and Samuel on Sunday after church. Touching show (': Cried twice. Hahaha I cry damn easily. Spotted Karuna in the show! I'm quite envious of her as well as the others. Karuna became a singer/actor, Vevian became an actor, Natasha became an actor, Sissy became a dancer, Elijah has his own freaking business and I'm just in a corner doing insignificant things. We all started out at the same point but now they've achieved great things and I've yet to reach there.
So many things that I wish you knew, but the story of us might be ending soon has ended.
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My friends called you an ugly pumpkin. I stood up for you, because they don't know what happened. They don't understand what we went through. They don't understand anything.
I can't believe I stood up for you.
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Cause she's bittersweet, she knocks me off of my feet And I can't help myself, I don't want anyone else She's a mystery She's too much for me But I keep coming back for more She's just the girl I'm looking for Just The Girl - The Click 5
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Those moments that make your heart race and your mind spin, and you don't know what to do because the feeling is so powerful.
All this pain and guilt
我做错了。对不起。
我只要你爱我。那不太难吧。你为什么要这样对我？你看不出吗？你不懂我爱你吗？
如果我走了，你回想我吗？你会为我哭吗？你不会。你不需要我。你一直告诉我你不爱我，一直拒绝我。真的很痛苦。
Friday, January 27, 2012
Mistakes
Everyone makes them.
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      Responses I got when I returned to gym today:
'DANIELLE?!' 'OH MY GOSH YOU'RE BACK' 'I thought you quit gym?'
Wasn't as bad as I expected it to be, and I got to witness the mending of a friendship. Touching moment.
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From http://saltedcoke.blogspot.com
I guess I'll be posting lesser and lesser. Or maybe I'll stop blogging completely. Because so far my life has done more harm to me than good. But why am I still writing right now despite everything I've just said? Just because I like to write. I'm not saying I'm good at it though. There's just something therapeutic about it.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Weak. Just plain weak.
Disappointed in myself again.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Caught up in this moment, caught up in your smile
Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight Just a touch of the fire burning so bright I don't want to mess this thing up I don't want to push too far
Just a shot in the dark and you just might Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life So baby I'm alright with a kiss goodnight Just a kiss, Lady Antebellum
I remember hearing this song a lot during the Adam Khoo camp... somehow it never left me.
800th/Charm
 Modern Dance  Drama  Red Cross
 Guides, Drama  NPCC
Pictures from CCA Fair. It was my last CCA Fair and I wasn't even promoting my own CCA. I'm such a traitor.
CNY was fun. Lele's family didn't come down, but Tamara came over on Day 1 to leech money off my family (: Spent Day 2 with Grace in the morning and Joshua, Zachery, Joelle, Jed and their parents in the afternoon at Sentosa. We wanted to see the flower show but it was too crowded so we just ended up gambling at a cafe. I won $2.50 (; Not bad for a first time (; This year Joshua's gonna plan our holiday (: We're thinking of either Hong Kong or Europe, but it'll have to wait till the end of the year because Joshua and I are taking Os this year and Joelle's taking her As.
Anyway... Grace has been telling me how morbid my posts are, so from now on I'll try to write relatively happier stuff (:
'It would have never worked out between us.' 'Keep telling yourself that'
You're in denial, my dearest. You're in denial and you know it.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Break my heart for what breaks yours
I lost the spare phone of my spare phone. I can see now why my mom refused to get me another phone when the first one was lost
Today was rather mentally draining... But it was all worth it. I don't ask for much, just a pretty smile on your pretty face. Because seeing you cry is too heart-wrenching.
Smile. You never know who's in love with it.
Catch me if you can
Try finding me. Go ahead.
Because you won't.
Friday, January 20, 2012
I'm only me when I'm with you
CNY celebrations today (: Had a mini class party with 4E4. Ate, took photos and played the cuttlefish game (; Hilarious I swear. Everyone was screaming at the contestants. I won every round, of course (;
Waxing with Ruth at Cecilia Westburry. We were freaking out and all but it turned out to be quite ok (: Ruth did her upper lip and I did underarms. Really interesting experience.
Lepaked at Tamara's. Nearly forgot the way to her house, haven't been there in a long time. I swear the girl is so cute. Where can you find a more adorable face?
Reunion dinner with daddy's side. Based Valerie! (: Stunting with her is quite easy because her dance requires Cheerleading skill.
Yup, that's all for today. Looking forward to Chinese New Year, especially for the maternal side! All the cool people are there (; We were supposed to go to Malaysia but I doubt we're going anymore. Damn. I wanted to set off fireworks into the pretty night sky.
Can I get your lips to speak my name?
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Insensitive
And here I am giving you unnecessary problems not knowing what you're going through. I'm so useless. I can't even make you smile or cheer you up, and I'm too afraid of rejection to offer you a hug. I was too focused on myself to open my eyes and see your pain.
I really am a bitch.
#Truth
I could listen to your voice all day.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
I have died every day waiting for you
Haven't wrote a proper entry in a while. Been having quite a few emotional struggles, but I think I've gotten over some of those silly feelings. Well, at least I'm trying to push them aside. There's no point in focusing on them because all they do is make me sad and depressed. Cried everything out to a friend on Sunday for one hour over the phone. Grateful to have these kind of people in my life who bother enough to listen to my troubles.
School has been alright. I'm still coping well, although I foresee myself getting madshit stressed within the next three months. Sitting next to Nikki, across the aisle from Ruth, and behind Rachella, Brin and Katie, so no complains there (: EXCEPT that Rachella and Nikki are ALWAYS singing and the songs they sing get stuck in my head. Well at least that means I have two human iPods (;
Epic moment of the day: I went behind Esther and covered her eyes and she started guessing who I was.
Esther: Is it Bianca?
-She accidentally elbowed my chest- Esther: Eh no you have boobs
I burst out laughing and told Bianca, who proceeded to step on Esther's chest (Y) This is why I love 4E4.
Gave up on the steam bath treatment and went to NSC instead. Received a whole lot of medication and a compression treatment to do at night. It's troublesome, but working. Many people have been saying that my skin condition has improved (: However, the cream I'm using is steroidal cream. So you could say that I'm on steroids. Side effects of steroids are: - Thinning of the skin
- Red rashes
- Damaged blood vessels underneath the skin
- Raised blood pressure
- Diabetes
Ohwell. I believe God will keep me safe.
I've decided to not do plan anything for my birthday and just let people surprise me. I'll be busy preparing for SPA and Drama Os to think about my 16th anyway. Furthermore, my birthday falls on Cross Country. So I'll be spending the morning of 9 March jogging 3km. Lovely.
8 MORE DAYS TILL CHEER TRAINING RESUMES (:
'Why am I even your friend?' - Grace Chia
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Breakable thread
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be
You were everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be but we lost it
All of the memories so close to me just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Life will mess you up
I don't know what to do. Seeing this situation unfold and not being able to do anything is frustrating.
We're not exactly inseparable, but I still care for you. Every time I see you, you act as if nothing's wrong when it's so obvious that something's bothering you.
Please cheer up.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Unwanted
I don't know how much more of this I can take.
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