Caught the Avengers. Robert Downey Jr. is amazing. The after-credits scene kinda hinted that there might be a part II. Can't wait to watch that too.
Shopped with Jade then met up with Amanda. She still scares me. Greatly so. She was fuming when she met us because some Malay guy on the train molested her and she started making calls to people to go 'whack the guy'. Even Jade was scared hahaha.
Had the urge to buy lots of food. And I did. Here's to me being a ball. Bought Champagne Royce home and Caramel Corn, and now I only have $10 to survive on for the rest of the week.
PLAYED JUBEAT (: Was a total noob next to Jade and Amanda. They can survive at Level 9/10 and I'm forever stuck at Level 7/8.
Didn't take photos today, just one instax which I'm lazy to upload. My iPod crashed anyway.
Aishiteru, Hime-Sama.
I love you Jade
What right do you have to accuse me when you know nothing? If this is your way of being concerned for me, I rather you not show concern at all.
Get over it. You weren't even the one who suffered the most. I know how to deal with it myself. I'm not so stupid as to repeat the same mistake, but you're insistent on accusing me of a mistake I never even made in the first place.
If you want to catch me in the middle of a mistake, I can give it to you. Will you be happy then when I become the person I worked so hard to get rid of?
I know what I did do and what I did not do. Your accusations do nothing to my conscience, and all you're doing is making yourself look stupid.
'Get your facts right then come talk.'
Watched ACJC's Monologues.
Performed our Devised piece. Our faces are so hideous that it's beautiful. We're having one more show on the 1st of June. Come and support us! (:
Drained.
I'm not livin' right, you're not by my side.
Happy birthday Sophia. I don't think any other friend of mine would ever hold their party on a yacht.
Your forgiveness was more than I expected, and much more than I deserved. I know I never told you this, but you are important to me, and I value you highly as a friend. I didn't realize how much you meant to me until I nearly lost you, and I'm sorry for not fully realizing this before.
I'm sorry something like this had to come between our friendship. Your trust will be hard to earn back, and I expected that. But I'm not the kind to sit around and do nothing, so I will work on building this friendship up again, and perhaps some day, earn your trust back.
'There's so many wars we fought, there's so many things we're not, but with what we have, I promise you that we're marching on.'
What would you think of me if I told you the truth? You'd judge me, just like how every one else does. That's why there's not one person that I've been completely honest about my situation with.
I hate not being able to get rid of this problem, and I hate having to face it alone. I'm tired and close to giving up. I don't want to fight anymore.
--------------------
Disappointments after disappointments keep coming, and it's because I've been too dependent on people. When I place my hope on a single person, I always end up suffering in the end.
I need to start distancing myself from others.
'Trust them, but don't depend on them.' - Jade
Haven't been writing much lately. Short of inspiration and my life hasn't been interesting. But Sophia's 16th is coming up this Saturday so there'll be pictures of that soon.
Will you still love me
In spite of everything?
My doubts and fears
Mistakes and tears
All mixed with happiness
This is who I am
Will you love me as I am?
I hate myself.
Every time I reflect, I'm ashamed of what I see. I have disgusting flaws, and I want to get rid of them so badly that I even considered abandoning who I am.
All I do is cause hurt and trouble to people around me. No one in their right minds would love me, and no one should. Why should anyone waste their time and effort on someone like me?
I've lost many people due to my flaws, and I'm still losing people now. But those people are better off without me, so I guess that's good.
I regret choosing to be this kind of person. No one takes me seriously, and I hate it. I hate every word that comes out of my mouth. Most of the time, they are words that people brush off or do not accept, even if those words are from my heart.
I tried so hard to change for each person who was a big part in my life, just to be someone that he/she will accept. In the end, I lost them anyway.
If I had a choice, I wouldn't want to be this person I am today.
'All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair.'
- the five people you meet in Heaven
It bothers me when people can't move on, especially if it's things relating to me. If what I did was my mistake, I don't see why others have to be so caught up about it. Fine, I might have been hurt, but I'm ok now. I've learnt from my mistakes and moved on, promising to be a better person.
I'm not affected by it anymore, so why should you be?
I'm learning to live all over again.
Oh, you made my best friend angry? I wish you the best of luck. I won't bother avenging her and all that nonsense, simply because there is no need to. You screwed yourself when you decided to lie to her. My best friend is not someone to be messed with, and once she's pissed at you... Yeah you'll need all the luck you can get.
Karma's finally getting you.
